![]() “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” proclaimed local priest, Father Greg Hampto, during a recent sermon. ![]() After enough times it starts to feel like it’s on purpose.”ĭespite criticism, the all-powerful creator of the Heavens still has devoted followers who are not so critical of his inaction. He kept saying His reminders didn’t go off and He swears He’s going to make one of the apostles buy an organizer and physically write down His schedule for Him. Bro that’s your own son! Or it’s You or something, I don’t know. “He was actually supposed to be there when Jesus was crucified, but He showed up three days late. “God has been really flakey lately,” Archangel Michael divulged. I’ll definitely help you out next time though! Hope your well.”Īccording to sources deep within Heaven, many are complaining of God’s recent two thousand year stretch of absenteeism. “Sorry! My notifications have been super weird lately,” our heavenly Father replied to Millicent, who has been dead for 809 years, “I’m guessing you found someone else to help you out already haha. ![]() HEAVEN - After over 810 years, God responded to medieval peasant Millicent Gascoigne’s prayer pleading for Him to relieve her son from the pain and suffering of typhoid fever with “Oops! Just saw this!”
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